Shu Shopping [Shu]

[Cezerny]

The tanuki sure knew how to play a game. Cezerny hadn't had this much fun in a long time. Still, it was only four days into his search for the Biju and he was already sure he had a decent lock on the location of the real Shu.

Coating the land in the most miniscule layer of his chakra was a genius move. A dick move, too, but most of all a genius move. Still, though, Cezerny then spent the following two days after that chasing his tail and chewing his ass. In that order. He had managed to complicate matters far too much.
"Hey...hey Shu!" he shouted, following a woman into a market. She clutched her purse closer to herself, shying away from the individual she could only figure to be either drunk, mentally impaired or both.

"Oy! Shuuuuuuuu!" he called out to a rather large individual in a restaurant, eating his noodles. Assuming it was indeed Shu, he was promptly notified that it wasn't when he sat down, began to eat the man's food and was chased out of the establishment with a machete.
This search had taken him out of Hi no Kuni, into Kaze no Kuni and then over to Tsuchi no Kuni. What could have been a multi-day journey if not for his Instantaneous seals scattered here and there, for no other purpose than to cut travel time.
He sat atop the cliffs, wondering what he was doing wrong. He rolled in the dirt, peed on trees and licked his balls. In that order. And it was then that he realized he was going about this insanely wrong.

All the people he had found thus far had Shu's chakra scent...but nothing else. He just needed to kick this old school. After all, he had a physical scent locked away as well. And so it would be that cocktail of sweat, hormones, skin cells, hair and other unmeasurable, unknown things that Cezerny would call on in order to find his new bestie.
A search that would take him another two days into Kaminari no Kuni. But he was on the trail now. The chakra was here, now to see if the physical scent matched. It was faint, but there. He could track a physical scent up to two days cold...something he had forgotten he could do with the dependence he had come to in detecting chakra.

Cezerny entered the bar, two oranges in hand. One, he bit, like one would bite an apple. Chewing rind, fruit and seeds all at once, he took another bite as he wound his way through the bar, going to a corner where a familiar form sat. Cezerny tossed the other orange up a few times before cocking back and lobbing it in Shu's general direction. The fruit was set to bounce right off Shu's shoulder in its current trajectory, and Cezerny struck a pose and pointed, grinning like a madman.
"TAG! YOU'RE IT, BRUH!"

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[Shu]

The past six days had been fairly productive for the tanuki. After leaving the country he spent a little time in the Land of Hot Springs, gathering information on his next potential minion. Some medicine woman that had the underworld all in a tizzy with her chakra enhancing drugs or something. It really didn't matter. She sounded like a decent connection to possess. All of that took two days. The remainder of his time was spent actually traveling on foot to Kaminari no Kuni, in an attempt to try and appreciate the little things in life. It wasn't bad either. Slow, but not bad.

Especially when those thugs jumped him. That was fun.

On the sixth day he figured that loudmouthed blonde was overly hyped as a tracker. Not that it was a bad thing. He would probably go back and kill him though. Just to make sure it wouldn't come back to bite him in the ass. Besides, he would be doing the world a favor.

And as if by some divine punishment the fucker showed up. Barged into the bar as obnoxiously as he could and tossed an orange right at him. Instinct would have had Shu create sand to block the incoming fruit, but that would blow his cover. So he simply caught it, the time it took to go through that thought process meant the orange came closer to his person than he would have preferred. Upon seeing the man Shu could not help but let out a low animalistic growl. It wouldn't take long before he found himself at his table.

"You...found me," Shu said with clear agitation. "How?"

[Cezerny]

Shu was so happy to see him! Cezerny beamed as he approached the man's table, sitting down in a chair across from Shu and continuing ravaging his orange. Usually, people were all "Oh shit!" or "Oh no!" when Cezerny showed up for them. But not Shu. He wanted to know how he did it. That's because they were buddies. Cezerny was excited...he'd never had a real friend before.

"You did a good job, guy." Cezerny acknowledged humbly, nodding. "All those people smelled like you...there was a woman who tried to hit me with her purse, and a guy with a giant machete...I almost got dotted up!"
Cezerny laughed, thinking about how close that machete came to cleaving off an arm.
"I don't know how you did it, but good on ya! I was following your chakra for a while, until that came up empty. That's when I just started tracking your reg'lar scent. And that led me here. I guess I can't always depend on chakra, eh?"

Cezerny was pretty proud of himself. And he had so much fun looking for Shu that he wasn't even going to consider this a job and ask for payment. Nope...this one would be on 'ol Cezerny. Maybe now they could have a drink and talk.
"So, what now?" he asked, picking one of the peanuts out of the bowl and popping it into his mouth. "You wanna play again, bro? I bet I can do it again. I bet I could do it in three days this time!"
Cezerny laughed and popped another peanut.

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[Shu]

As Cezerny proceeded to explain the intricacies of his little quest the Ichibi grinned slightly. It wasn't the kind of grin someone makes when they're happy or excited. It wasn't even the type that someone makes when either evil plan works out. No, it was the type of grin that is made when you're stuck with working with someone that you want to strangle but you can't, for whatever reason you just aren't allowed to kill them. So you smile to restrain those urges.

"So it's not just chakra you track," he said as he picked up the bottle of soju that he ordered and took a couple of swigs. "You could track this body as well. That's annoying."

The whole purpose of the Tanukitsuki was so that he would be untraceable. He was using a completely different body. Nobody should have been able to find him since nobody should know who this schmuck even was. But nothing was perfect. No matter. He needed to refine the technique anyway. Perhaps having Cezerny around wasn't such a miserable thing. Without him this flaw wouldn't have even come to mind.

"I don't doubt you," Shu grumbled at the prospect of being found again so easily. "You've proven yourself." He then stood up from the table and picked up his alcohol. "C'mon, let's go," he said as he started to walk out of the bar. Snatching a bottle off of someone's table he tossed it back in Cezerny's direction. After walking a block or two he jumped up onto a nearby roof and looked around. This area seemed without prying ears.

"I suppose a promise is a promise," the tanuki said with a sigh. "You wanted to know what I was? You should already know of me," his golden eyes shifted into that of his true form's and tail of sand began to materialize behind him.

"Suna no Shukaku. Congrats. You've tracked down a Bijū."

[Cezerny]

Cezerny was pretty proud of himself. This wasn't one of his most difficult missions ever, but at the same time, it was a decent challenge. It forced him to change his way of thinking and tracking temporarily, and reminded him exactly of what he was capable of. Shu seemed impressed, which only boosted Cezerny's ego for the moment.
"If it smells like something, I can track it." he said proudly. "Everybody has a scent. Even if their body doesn't physically smell like nothin', each region has distinct plants, air quality, minerals that get picked up in the skin and hair. Sweat smells like those things, as well as what you've eaten, hormones...I can smell all that!"

It was something restricted only to one clan and one branch, to his knowledge. A werewolf clan in Kiri, whose name escaped him for the moment, and his own particular maternal lineage within the Yun. His mother was the first recorded shinobi able to smell chakra, and passed the skill on to him. Some said it was divine luck. Others said it was a direct result of the inbreeding between Chie's parents.
Shu left the table, and to Cezerny's surprise, beckoned him to come with. Excitedly, he bounced up, following behind Shu, catching the bottle that was tossed his way as they prepared to leave the bar.

He listened as the man spoke, following him up to the rooftop where they would finally stop. Taking a swig of the bottle, his interest was piqued as Shu turned, those dark, stoic eyes now glittering demonic gold. Cezerny nearly choked on his drink as that spiked, sandy tail began to snake out from behind Shu. But it wasn't fear or awe.

It was laughter.

Shu swallowed the last of his alcohol and laughed, reaching over and patting Shu on the shoulder.
"You for real, ain't you, man?" he said, smiling. "I heard'a ya. Some whispers around the way saying you dipped outta Sunagakure and you runnin' wild."
It was blowing Cezerny's mind right now that the Shukaku was standing right here in front of him, but of course, he wouldn't show it.
"You wanna know something hilarious, though, guy?" Cezerny asked, plopping down on that roof and leaning back against the chimney smokestack. "There's prolly folks who are being paid right. This. Minute to hunt you down. They prolly been looking for the minute you escaped. Some prolly been hunting jinchuriki for generations like them Akatsuki from back in my mom's generation. All them cats, looking for tailed beasts...and I found one in less than a week without even knowing what I was looking for!"

It was funny to Cezerny really. All these other guys out here referred to themselves as world-level trackers and the best of the best. Villages would hire them because...well...let's not treat this situation with kid gloves: they just didn't like Cezerny. He was loud, boastful, spacy, and seemed like he could be a potential liability just by existing. Daimyo and village leaders, for the most part, just didn't want to deal with him. And here he was now, with the one person...thing...guy that any of them would give both nuts and someone else's just to be in possession of.
Their loss, really. This entire situation could have had a different outcome if only he had met someone with the need and the duckets for a Biju only a day before he met Shu. But now Shukaku was his boy for life. And there weren't enough pennies a day to get Cezerny to turn him in.

"So, what's your plan out here, Shu?"

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[Shu]

A vein twitched just above Shu's temple as Cezerny broke out in laughter, his tail swished a little more violently as well. He expected something a little more fear induced. The wide eyes. The quivering. He gave Cezerny enough credit to assume he wouldn't soil himself, but that had happened before. He laughed for a good while after that. But no, he was standing in front of the only guy in the world that would laugh. But that's what he got for expecting anything from Cezerny. Even by his standards, the guy had issues.

"The plan is simple," he said as his eyes shifted back to their golden humanoid version and the tail dissipated with a gust of wind. He walked over to Cezerny and placed a hand on the top of his head, ruffling his hair a little. In that short amount of time the Ichibi would mold his chakra into a magatama and use the Seifuku no Hōseki by inserting the chakra bead into Cezerny's head. The man would feel no discomfort. No, it would seem as if he simply zoned out as the chakra spread through his chakra network system. The entire purpose of this was to implant one simple idea into Cezerny's little head.

Throw people off of his trail.

A magatama symbol would appear on the top of Cezerny's skull, hidden under the mop of blonde hair. When the daze wore off, it would be as if he had come up with the idea on his own. What better way to have people do what you want? He learned that people enjoyed doing things that they believed they came up with better than being ordered to do the same task. Though, he had to question whether such a technique was even needed on the man.

"I'm building up a following," he said as he stopped shaking the mercenary's head and stepped away. "An underground network outside of the radar of the shinobi. Who would look for me amongst the likes of petty criminals? Most people assume I'm some raving beast." A dark smirk formed. "And then there is the matter of destroying Sunagakure."

[Cezerny]

Cezerny cringed a bit as Shu walked over and placed a hnad atop his head. At this point, he was used to being pounded in the skull or at least slapped, so it was a rather automatic reaction now. But there would be no pain, no stars, no stinging skin beneath fluffy blond.
No...Shu was rubbing his head. As if he was a bloodhound who had just done a good job. And though it felt nice, Cezerny couldn't get around the fact that it was just plain weird...a little creepy, even. What grown man would ruffle another grown man's hair. But still...it felt nice.

And just as quickly as it started, it stopped, and Cezerny was plucked from his trance of bliss as Shu began speaking again.
"Shit, man! That's a great idea!" the mercenary exploded, pounding a fist into his hand. "Nobody would look for you there! They'd be expecting you to be stomping around like Godzilla, breaking shit and eating people. Did Godzilla eat people?"
Cezerny took a moment, scratching his head before suddenly jerking and pounding his fist into his hand again.

"Oh! Oh! We should throw people off your trail...not that anyone could do as good a job at tracking you as I just did. Oooh...yeah. Word just got out in the underground that you're loose. Not a whole lot. Just some whispers among us mercs, really. What if...WHAT IF I WAS TO START LEAKING SOME FALSE INFO! You know...send them turkeys on a wild goose chase! Maybe even take on the job of tracking you from Sunagakure...keep them birds as far away from you as possible! Then you can trash their shit. They never gave me much work anyway."
It was an awesome idea. Entirely too awesome for Cezerny. He was sure this was the greatest idea he had ever had in his lifetime. Well, besides that one time he decided to chase that skunk. THAT was the greatest idea he had ever had.

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[Shu]

As Cezerny started speaking about Godzilla the Ichibi walked to the edge of the roof and looked down at the people going about their lives. He was beginning to understand the need to tune the mercenary out. And while the reference went over his head Shu could agree with him. Most people would expect him to have gone on a rampage by now. It had been almost two months since he got loose. Whispers were already being spread of his escape. Besides, it had been so long since he went on a good old fashioned killing spree. Perhaps it was time to put on a performance.

Hearing Cezerny's genius plan caused the tanuki the smirk. He had really lucked out in snatching this body. It came with some really nice tricks. "Huh," Shu said as he turned around and acted as if he were mulling over the idea. "That's not a horrible idea," he said as he scratched his chin. "Perhaps there is more to you than just your nose."

It was then that he realized that he didn't know a whole lot about his new minion. Fleshbag. Er, partner? That wouldn't do. If he was going to make the most of this then he needed to know everything in Cezerny's bag of tricks. Shu was not the type to appreciate surprises.

"Which makes me question...," the beast started off and decided to pose Cezerny with the same question asked of him when they met. "What's your novel?"

[Cezerny]

Cezerny beamed as bright as the moon when Shu complimented his genius idea.
"Sometimes, I got the good shit brewing up in the ol' noodle." he said with a wink, placing a finger atop his own head. Ironically enough, not too far from the magatama that had formed upon his scalp.

True enough, he had not survived into his 30s by being a complete idiot. Truthfully, some of it was for show. You were less of a threat as a simpleton, and Cezerny could be quite cold and calculating when the moment called for it. But honestly, he was more of a goofy Lab than anything. He liked to have fun, he liked to laugh, he liked to entertain others. When it came to his duckets, though, he'd slice the head off a kitten and ram it down a baby's throat if that's what he was contracted to do.

It surprised him when Shu asked what his story was...very few ever showed interest. And with good reason, it wasn't a terribly interesting story. Probably not even one that he would normally tell. But this was Shu, and even though the Tanuki was probably the least trustworthy being on the face of the Earth, Cezerny would put at least this much trust in him.

"Not much story to tell, bruh." he said with a shrug. "My ma was a Yun, and my pops was an Uzumaki. We didn't live in the shinobi villages or nothin'...stayed in Hi no Kuni...they taught me everything they knew. They both died when I was about nineteen. So I started traveling around, taking jobs for money...that's about it. She made me promise sometime I would go back home to Iwa to visit the Yun and see how they were doing...I guess she was supposed to be some kind of prophesied child...a pretty big deal or something. Not a disloyal, everyday cur like me. But she never went back."

Cezerny shrugged again. It made him sad to think about his mom...she was a good woman. If not a little crazy and probably entirely responsible for all his weird little quirks. She didn't have very good stories about what happened to her as a child, which was the only thing making him apprehensive about eventually traveling to Iwa. If they didn't like her, they'd probably want to skin him alive.

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[Shu]

At mention of the name Uzumaki his entire expression dropped to a deadpan. Everything made so much fucking sense. It was really one of those epiphany moments. He was an Uzumaki. Those fuckers were notorious for being annoying. Admittedly, his only real experience with the clan was with Naruto, but there had to be some type of correlation here. Right? Not that it made a difference.

All humans were an annoyance.

When Cezerny finished his story he wasn't entirely sure what to say. He only asked in the first place to try and get some insight on his abilities, but that turned out to be a bust. Then again, maybe he was trying too hard. Attempting to weave his words in the manner that Gaara used to do, in the hope of coaxing information out of people. He might as well just be blunt with it.

"Uzumaki and the Yun. That's some lineage," he said as he took a heavy swig of his alcohol, draining it of its contents. Tossing it over his shoulder he hoped that someone got nailed in the head by it. "I know you're strengths lie in tracking, but what else can you do? If you're going to be my right hand I'll need to know these things."

[Cezerny]

Only then remembering there was a bottle in his hand, he took a drink before lifting his head to look at Shu. It was quite the combination, wasn't it? He had given it some thought recently, and with the heavy linebreeding on spiritualism, it was really no surprise he could do what he did and so easily, at that.
"Yeah, it is, ain't it? Somehow, I think it was all planned out that way. Not that I don't doubt they really did fall in love and shit, but there's no possible other way that they could have found one another unless they were looking in some way or shape. Two clans who deal heavy on the spiritual...that ain't no accident. My tracking skills come from my ma. They called her "The Feral Dog of the Yun". The first and only recorded so far to be able to smell chakra."

He was proud of this fact, in the very least. Not so much in the jutsu that he created, that he had yet to tell Shu about. He was always proud to be his parents' son. He was described by them as being 'the best of both of them'. Even before they died, they considered him to have surpassed them. Even if he was a bit noodle-brained.
"What else can I do?" he repeated. How could he have ever forgotten to mention it to Shu? He supposed that he was so proud of his tracking skills that he just considered everything else secondary. But it was no small potatoes. Opening his hand, he looked to his fingers as he began to list off his numerous abilities.
"Well, I smell chakra. I can also bite folks in the soul. It's really pretty bitchin'. If I bite them in the legs, they can never walk again. And if I yank the whole thing out, they just plain fuckin' die. Sometimes I eat souls...they're pretty tasty. "
He ticked off that finger, folding it back into his palm as he continued.

"I also can summon a dragon. He can be kind of a bastard sometimes, but he's a cool guy. He can fly. And he keeps track of the souls I'm not using. He can braid souls together permanently. He used to be my mom's summon, but she passed him on to me. Uhhh...lessee...I can stick seals to people. My dad helped me work on that. I even have some, myself."
He held out his palms, displaying the intricate designs drawn on them.
"These are my summoning seals. Anything I done put a seal on, I can just summon right to my hands by doing this right here, and thinking about it."

With that demonstration, Cezerny formed a hook-em-horns type formation with his fingers.

"I got seals tethered to my soul that I can animate. They lock your physical energy away when they touch you, meanin' you can't form chakra. I use that to subdue targets. Those are pretty fun. OH! And I almost forgot...I can summon myself anyplace I've been and drawn a seal on. I got seals all over the different lands...saves me on transit time, you know? Oh, and I can also punch you right through your chest, maybe grab one'a your rib bones and break it right off. Punch right through your skin...sounds gross. It is."

He nodded with some degree of finality before realizing what Shu had said.
"Wait...you said I'm your right hand man. Really, Shu? You mean it?"
He was nearly overcome with emotion, eyes shimmering as he looked up at Shu. "Aww...bruh......"

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[Shu]

It seemed that Shu had really lucked out when he decided to recruit this guy. He appeared to be the whole package in terms of usefulness. The only problem really just seemed to be his personality. But Shu could tolerate him in small doses. Unfortunately, his patience with Cezerny was running a little thin at the moment. Scratching his chin once more he began to think as to how he could make the most use of Cezerny, beyond throwing his would-be captors off his trail.

The soul eating thing made him appreciative of the jutsu he had placed on the mercenary. As a being made of chakra Shu was unsure how being bit would affect him. Most people assumed that he was the least likely Bijū to have one of those soul things. Could be very useful for dealing with the Bijūtsukai though. And with interrogations. Hell, when he just felt like torturing people. The bit about the dragon went in one ear and out of the other. Dragons looked like snakes and he preferred to just eat them.

Hearing that he was a fūinjutsu specialist was especially pleasing to hear. He needed one of those. A fall back plan in case he actually did get caught or sealed. He needed someone on the outside to undo it. The best part was that Cezerny would hardly need much coaxing in performing the task. The tanuki's brow raised when he mentioned that he could summon himself just about anywhere. THAT was something he was happy to hear.

"That's right," Shu said, a little taken aback by how emotional that made the mercenary. "You just need to pass one more test. It's simple really," he said as his arm began to transform into a smaller version of his bestial arm. He swiftly grabbed hold of Cezerny and grinned. "Find me again." With that he hurled Cezerny off in a random direction with a good bit of strength, laughing as he did so.

That was actually kind of fun. At that moment he made the mental not that he needed to throw more people. But for now, he would take this time to appreciate some peace.