Learning to be cool {PM only}

[Siyoshi Tengata]

For the past few days Tengata felt as the anger grew in him do to the recent events. Not only what happened with his sensei the other day, but the fact that he was pulled from the exams. There was no explanation about why, his name was just suddenly removed from the roster. He figured it had something to do with his sensei though he wanted to talk to the lady. She would be able to do something about it or at least give him some sort of explanation on the matter.

He had tried to go to her office a few times, but she was never there so he would tell the person he talked to they should tell her he wanted to see her. Not far off from her office he found a small clearing in a rather run down section of the village. In the middle was a large boulder surrounded by a thin layer of muddy water that looked like the perfect training spot. The rock did not look important or anything so he figured no one would mind if it had a few cracks.

Once he got next to the boulder he activated both his rock gloves along with the boots. Positioning himself in the fighting stance his father had taught him Tengata began swaying his body while throwing various punches hitting the boulder. From time to time he would dash out then to the side just to dash back in to throw another combo. Against most people this style usually would win him the fight, yet against that rock creature he was useless.

These thoughts would just make him angrier making him punch harder each time. After a while his both his techniques began to break apart well Tengata continued his flurries. Even after they broke off he would keep going for as long as he could practicing everything his father taught him. Not till his fists were bleeding did he stop, the rain pouring down on him made blood flow in with the mud below him.

Deciding a break was needed Tengata sat down in the mud resting his back up against the boulder. He sat there looking at his hands remembering how his father told him that a strong man only needed his two fists to win a fight. So far this philosophy was working for him, but out in the world he was not so sure it was enough anymore. Putting his head against the boulder he looked up watching the rain as it flooded down unto his face.

[Wani Ryuze]

"I won't pretend to know how you feel..." Ryuze would say to Tengata suddenly out of seemingly noplace. She would be stooping atop the ruined boulder, looking down at the boy. For a while, she had been watching him, watching as he fought himself, the turbulence building within him. His anger may have been rightful and understandable, but no matter how she tried, Ryuze could not empathize.

There were so many other things in the world far more worthy of such anger. Sio was disappointed that she could not participate in the exams, as well. She anticipated that such might happen, and it did not make Ryuze feel good to have to be the one to confirm it. There were a few tears, but confidence that by the time the next exams rolled around, she would be back in Konoha and able to compete and become a Chunin. Ryuze hoped for that for her.

She had received word from Sachiro that Tengata was not ready to attend the Chunin exams, and to pull his name from the roster per the instructions of his Jonin-sensei. And Ryuze did not ask any questions, nor dispute. She did not know why he was denied admission, nor did she care. She was not about micromanaging her shinobi.
But what she was seeing here, right now, bothered her. She slipped down the boulder, landing on the muddy ground.
"But I will make an effort to try. What's on your mind? Besides beating up this poor, defenseless boulder, of course."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Siyoshi Tengata]

Rain was dropping on his face when suddenly the lady appeared above him nearly scaring the piss out of him. Putting his hand to his heart he quickly squirmed away, almost slipping as he turned to face her. For a moment he did not know what he forgot what he had wanted to say to her as his bare feet dug into the mud. Then a look of embarrassment came to his face as she mentioned the beating of an innocent rock. He forced a smirk unto his face as he looked up to her well he gathered his thoughts again.

"I know why I couldn't go to the exams... my father always told me I could beat anything with just my fists..."

He raised his bloody fists as if showing her what fists he was talking about. Looking at them for a second he let them drop as his eyes came back up to hers.

"...I could not protect my brother when we were attacked, and would have failed to protect the village if it was a real attack"

Tears began to build up in his eyes a bit as his fists clenched tightly at the mention of not being able to protect what he cared for. He looked away so that maybe she would not be able to tell, there was no way he could let her of all people see him be weak. Taking a deep breath he looked up at her with a fierce look in his eyes showing how determined he was.

"All I want is to be strong enough to protect my family, and my village... just I keep letting my anger get the best of me. I am sorry... Sachiro must have told you all about my failure"

[Wani Ryuze]

"Actually, he didn't." Ryuze said, strolling around the boulder. "I don't question my appointed sensei regarding their decisions. Their squads are theirs to manage. I only knew that he had decided you weren't ready for these Chunin exams, and that's all it was."
Ryuze nodded, turning back to Tengata.

"And I agree with him."
Painful, though the words may have been, based on what she saw here, Tengata likely would not have fared better in the exams than he did in their mock-battle. It was not her aim to wound the Genin, but to shock him into listening, and ease him into understanding.

"These..." she said, placing her hands atop his bloodied fists. "...are only part of the solution. Every battle can't be won with brute strength. Particularly your battles. You're fighting yourself, most of all, Tengata. And you can't beat a lesson into yourself with your fists."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Siyoshi Tengata]

Tengata fell silent listening to her talk about his sensei pulling him out of the exams, it made him remember the way he treated him. Though he was rough the man was merely trying to help then realize their faults, well testing them so he could better teach them in
the future. His eyes dropped looking at the muddy ground beneath his feet as she had paused, then his heart feel when she said she agreed. Even she thought he was not ready to enter the exams leaving him standing there stunned...

When she placed her hands on his fists he brought his eyes up to look at her he could see she only meant well. What she said would stick with him forever revealing why he was not ready, if all he could do was fist fight then how would he ever progress as a shinobi? Starting to doubt his worth as a shinobi it would surely be noticed on his face as he looked at her in disbelief. Then he smiled at her last comment thinking up an image of him fighting himself was kinda funny, though he understood the meaning behind her words.

"Been so focused on the thought that all I needed was to master my fathers style... suppose I forgot that I am training to be a shinobi, now Takeshi got to go to the exams while my little brother is already a better shinobi then me.

He could feel his anger building up as it began to rip at his insides he did not know who he was angry at, just that he wanted to punch something. Since he was little whenever something did not go his way or someone did something he liked he would just get mad and beat them up.

"How... do I control this anger?! Everyone calls me hot headed... I cant help it when it comes out I just want to break someones face"

[Wani Ryuze]

"Mastering your father's style should be a point of pride for you, and for your clan, but not an ultimate goal." Ryuze said. "You have to master your own style. Because yourself is who you have to live with at the end of the day."
True enough, a shinobi's clan was important. Shinobi lived for their family, for their name, for their village, and for their comrades. But this was not to be taken out of context. A lot of people liked to take this ideology too far, into thinking that shinobi should not have a sense of self. But Ryuze always felt that at the end of the mission, all you really have is yourself. And you would need that in order to pass the time until the next mission.

His next question, Ryuze knew all too well. Though it was not anger that she waged war with daily, she knew what it was like to have feelings dominate your very existence. For her, it was anxiety. Restlessness. Though she was better than she had been in the past, she was nowhere near 'good'. She still couldn't settle, still woke up to night terrors, still lived every day in overwhelming fear that history would repeat itself.
"You can't." she said simply, turning her face to the sky. "You will never control that anger. It will always be a part of you. You can manage it. But it's who you are, as much as your hair color and as much as your chakra nature."

She turned back to Tengata.
"The most important part is to never deny it. You can't deny the parts of yourself that you don't like because they still make you who you are. You just have to make it work for you. You just have to redirect it. Take that anger, and remember who the real enemy is. Stop, think when you get mad, and save it for later."
Ryuze smiled, forming a handseal. The rain that began to fall began to freeze, giving way to snow.
"I can't stop the rain from falling, but I can mold it. You can't stop the anger from flaring up within you. But you can manage it. It will take work, and it will be hard. You'll have setbacks that will make you want to give up. But if there's one important thing my brothers taught me, it's this: You've already gone through all that pain...you as might as well get something out of it."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Siyoshi Tengata]

'Master my own style...'

Looking at the mud squishing between his toes as he wiggled them Tengata let this thought roam in his head. He had never thought to make his fathers style... his style, his eyes widened as he realized what she meant. Instead of trying to be like his father who was born in a different time, he should be himself flowing in with the way the world is now. A large smile came to his face as somehow realizing that he did not have to live up to his father made his current anger dissipate for now.

When she started speaking of anger his eyes got lost in hers as he listened to her wisdom. She made a logical point about not being able to change who he is, but he could mold himself. Like the mud beneath his feat is molded to the earth until he puts his bare foot into it. Then it will mold itself to his foot print, somehow he would have to figure out how to work with his anger. Use it for his benefit instead of letting it get in the way of completing a task or taking advise from his sensei.

Shivers ran through his body as he looked up to see that the rain had shifted into snow. He was amazed to see how powerful she really was, even though it seemed simple to turn rain into snow he still had never seen anyone do it. His eyes slowly fell back to her now looking brighter then before, as he had regained his confidence in himself. Now he began to think maybe she can help him learn the basics once again, and create his own style.

"Thank you Lady Ryuze. You are very wise... will you help train me to control my anger?"

[Wani Ryuze]

"I'm afraid I can't..." Ryuze said regretfully. "I've...honestly never really known what it was to be angry. I can't tell you the directions down a path I've never walked."
She thought for a moment, running her fingers through uneven hair. True, Ryuze did not know anger. She allowed a different emotion to pilot her, and she would need help, herself, with that much. But that was neither here, nor there, and would not help Tengata.

"When my siblings and cousins and I decided we were going to take back the village, we weren't mad. We were just exhausted. When we took out our oppressors, we didn't do so out of anger. We did it out of necessity. There was no malice in our actions, only necessity. And even today, I'm not mad at what happened to us. It frustrates me that it still affects us, eleven years later. But I can't afford to think about that...all I can think about is how to make us better. I never let our circumstances dictate who I was going to be. I stayed myself, and answered to them as only I could. All I can really tell you is this: Nothing is the end of the world. There is nothing that you can't survive with belief in yourself, and in your comrades. So...don't worry. And don't give anything or anyone the power to take you away from yourself. The only one who should have the power to change you...is you."
She nodded, smiling and offering a hand to help the kid up from the mud.

"You follow those lessons, and train hard, and you should be ready to own the next Chunin Exams with the rest of your team."

[/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Siyoshi Tengata]

For a moment Tengata stood thinking about what she had just said to him before he took her hand. He did not know fully what had happened when her family took back the village, it was not a subject that his father like to talk about. Naturally Tengata had gained an interest in it but was too focused on training with his father to really gain any knowledge. A broad smile came to his face when she spoke of him owning the next chunin exams.

"I promise you Lady Ryuze, soon I will be strong enough to protect this village to be sure that never happens again!"

A light came to his heart that he had not felt since his father first began his training. This time he would strive to become something more then just a mere brawler, and become a shinobi. Still holding her hand Tengata placed it over his heart letting her feel it beating in his chest.

"My heart belongs to Ame... so my team will fight to change our village to its former glory"